Do You Know WHO YOU ARE?

The Seesaw of Self: Finding Security in the Blend

My mother had a favorite piece of advice: "Introspect and ask yourself, 'Who am I?'" She stressed checking in with myself, not just once, but at different times in my life. She hinted that sometimes I'd answer with certainty, and other times I'd have a new set of traits that felt more representative—and that was okay. Later, in college, I truly came to understand the profound relevance of that question.

I became incredibly secure in my masculinity. Then, toward the end of my college years, something new entered my life: drag.

I began to enjoy the seesaw of playing up my masculine side or, at times, indulging my feminine expression. I didn't need to make a public announcement or have anyone misgender me. I knew—and remain secure—that I am a male named GeorgeAnthony. I am happy and secure in my maleness. But I also genuinely enjoy dabbling in a flipped, visually feminine output. most of this perspective is speaking to the males to female cross dress trans situartion .

An Incidental Insight into the Feminine Experience

Through cross-dressing, I gained a powerful glimpse into the feminine experience, or at least, the experience of the objectified woman. I realized how women are almost always "on display," hyper-aware of themselves because someone is nearly always watching them—men and women alike. This constant sensation of being watched and lusted after means their actions are subtly, or not-so-subtly, modified.

What I've observed in this experience is the raw, almost primal way men can relate to the feminine form. There's a subtle, yet intense, animalistic approach—like the wolf viewing Little Red Riding Hood as a piece of steak. The feeling of male dominance, the way some men interact with or "manhandle" what they perceive as the female form, is both fascinating and, as someone who understands male-on-male interaction, highly excitable in its dynamic.

The Trans Invasion and the Penis Justification

This brings me to a truly curious modern phenomenon: the sudden intrigue many men have with the "trans invasion." It's not as if they lack access to cisgender women with breasts and vaginas. So, what do trans women possess that a cis woman doesn't, that suddenly makes a man question his boundaries?

The only consistent answer is the penis.

For many men, it seems that if the face, body, and breasts present as female, it can override the fact of a penis. This, in their mind, somehow justifies the sudden curiosity of touching, sucking, or being sexually dominated by a penis. To me, this justification feels weak, a feeble excuse—almost like a "I was drunk and don't know what happened" plea. Yet, I'd argue even when intoxicated, people are generally aware of their actions.

This dynamic splits men into two categories:

1. The Dominators: Those who want to maintain their top position over the feminine form (trans or otherwise). They may engage sexually, but they will still be the one doing the penetrating.

2. The Submissive Seekers: Those who see the female form/tranny as the key to justifying their desire to lose control, to suck, or to be dominated and fucked by the feminine form. For this group, the obsession with trans women is often magnified by this specific, subversive desire.

My Own Line in the Sand

When a man approaches me while I'm dressed femme with the expectation of being sexually topped, I'm quick to set my boundary. Topping a masculine man is the furthest thing from my mind when I'm visually presenting as female. If they wanted me to fuck them, it would be easier if I wasn't dressed female to do it.

But that's not what they want. It creates too much of a "mind fuck" for me to be perceived as female and then expected to instantly cue back into a male role to exert dominance. My internal security—in my maleness, my femininity, and my sexuality—allows me to know where I draw my line. I'm aware and secure in how I present myself and how men perceive it. I'm not fighting for the alpha role; I am somewhat passive, knowing when to let the man take the lead, and when to back off.

The Blended Output and the Confusion Crowd

What I've also found is a group of men who can't seem to claim an identity—not gay, not straight, maybe jumbled up in the middle of drag—and are desperately trying to hold onto a core "guy" appearance. Somewhere along the way they caught wind of some drag queens or Rupaul's Drag race where they see some kind of commonality.  Some place where art meets gender and blurs it in an artistic statement of sorts.  Next they test the waters with lil changes here and there .

Finally as theyve built up enough courage to step out with a new found support group of similar peers to validate them, they seem all to confident stepping out with with an interesting blend and blur of gender lines  rocking a beard and lipstick, hair slightly longer than a traditionaol mens cut  but not quite long enough somewhere in between , wearing a mix of male and female attire (a shirt with a dress and jeans underneath, some femme accessories to top off the look.  For artistic eyes they would be able to see somewhat of what they were trying to express with their ensemble, but  for the everyday person its visually alarming and confusing blend.  Any confrontation is set off by the assumption that they see a beard and masculine undercore with the feminine adornments so they address the male and fall right in their trap, creating the  offended,  flip out, misgendering them.  

I feel that if you are misgendered on accident  you must already know and you shouldnt demolish the person as you created the visual car crasah before walking out.  You absolutely cannot be that oblivious to not have thought that you would get some pushback and confusion. If you didn't want to get misgendered.... Ummm maybe shave the beard off ?  Pick a lane., wear the dreass or jeans  or keep it, but if you're out in public dressed in this visibly blended way.  Again i know just a few years before you knew things men wore typically in society and things women wore as general thing so you know how to dress yourself to blend in . and consequently you know what to wear fir shock value.   I know this because i remember pushing  the limits of my fashion output and each time i tried I had to double and  tripple check myself before deciding to do it and leaving the house.   SO YOU All KNEW. YOU WERE GONNA GET THE REACTIONS.  

We all need to be aware of what we put out there. If a woman wears a micro-bikini in public, she has to know she's going to garner more attention and a broader range of reactions from men. OR if a man leaves his home in thong undeerwear, he is absolutely going to stop traffic and hear from people.   YES, we should be able to wear whatrever we want!  and  we can!..  there are just consequences for your choices. The universal law of Cause and effect. heres a quick quiz question would you show up to a family funeral in A.)_a 1980s prom dress, B).a micro bikini or C.) a halloween devil costume if you answered none of the above your correct !  highly inappropriate.!  Use your brain this is not rocket science people!

People are predictable. If you cross-blend masculine and feminine traits or clothing, you will get a reaction. To pretend otherwise is living under a rock.

I highly suspect that most of the people barking the loudest about being "misgendered" knew the likely outcome when they decided what to wear. I seriously doubt it didn't cross their minds. I believe many were trying to be bold, to push their visual envelope, and then make a big scene when they were negatively perceived.

To me, this mentality feels like a fifth-grade cry for attention, a form of passive-aggressive behavior. I wish people would see these spectacles for what they are—a slightly immature cry for attention—and dont give in to them to that behavior simply ignore them.  Acknowledging it only feeds into the blatant narcissism.  It's like rewarding a screaming child in the supermarket with a candy bar 

There is a strong distinction between being secure in who you are and not knowing who you are but hiding behind a veil of narcissism. Are you really secure in who you are?  what things are importnat to you what do you stand for ?  how do you live your life?  Have you honestly given your cis born sex a fair go at it?  dated a fair amount of people to gain insight on your needs.  One more major point ..  We change so much from 17 18 years old to 20, 21,  then again by 25 more life experiences will help shape you in more ways and by the time your saturn return comes around at 28, 29, 30  usually something happens that can change the whole trajectory of your life or an awareness that you are finally adult and no longer a kid.   then 35 and of course 40  every 4 to five years stop and take stock.   See what has changed with yourself the things you thought in your 20s was soo important by the time you are 35 you may feel dont hold importance at all any longer.   My mother's question to me , "Who am I?" is the ultimate test. It's about finding that secure core, not chasing the spectacle. My mother used to stress to me to introspect and ask myself "who am i". and check in with yourself at different times asking the same.  She hinted at there will be different times where you will answer with certainty and others where you have a new set of traits that you feel represent you more and that was ok.   now i appreciatee and understand the releevance of being secure in who i am.